The Obsidian Phoenix Review

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The Obsidian Phoenix ReviewThe good: I thought the story was fairly interesting. While the premise is somewhat trite: Orphan Girl is mysteriously found and surprise, surprise...has magical powers and has...surprise, surprise a mysterious past and eventually turns out to be surprise, surprise the key to saving all that's good in the world; the story itself is presented in an interesting manner. The story is absorbing and moves at a good pace.
The bad:
-- The protagonist is a Mary Sue. Now I've never said that about any other character in any other book...and I've read VERY many. I actually like characters who are larger than life. So when I say she's a Mary Sue, and I say it negatively, you can be sure that this character is over the top. She's not only a Mary Sue to start with; her powers grow almost with every chapter. You could make a game trying to figure out what new power the author will have the protagonist "discover" in the next chapter. By the time the book ended, I honestly didn't know why the protagonist bothered with such things as gathering friends, armies, and the like...one more chapter and she should be able to snap her fingers causing the defeat of all evil, and have everyone singing Kumbaya as well.
-- The dialogue is amateurish. Nothing flowed. The story was told in first person, which can make it tough to establish why the various supporting characters would act as they do, but the author often simply doesn't make what happens very credible. Moreover, the sentence structure in the dialogue is simply "off" in my opinion. I am not a writer myself; I am not a grammarian. But in my opinion the sentences are too short, too simplistic, too shallow in what they are trying to convey. It's as though the author established some reading comprehension level target, ran her manuscript through some kind of program, and had all of the sentences dumbed down to meet the target...which was obviously too low for my tastes.
The Nitpick: When authors use modern slang in a "sword and sorcery" type of book, it's jarring to me. This author didn't do it often, but it was noticeable the few times she did. Example: Supporting character tells main character (who has just done a strange magical thing): "You're creeping me out".
In summary: it's light reading, not horrible, good to pass time with. Like, say, on an airplane. At the time I bought it on Kindle for $2.99, it's worth the price. But if a sequel is published, I likely won't buy it.The Obsidian Phoenix OverviewCrimson and Jerrik are the sole survivors of the merciless slaughter of their people, the elves of the White Forest. Follow them as they seek vengeance and struggle with loss and life changing events. Discover Crimson's true identity and travel with her on her journey to find the Dark One who slaughtered her father and sister. The battle will be bloody, retribution will be hers.

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